Thursday, May 31, 2018

Samuel 21-22

Hello all. I hope you've been doing well or at least better than poor David, who is at the mercy of his Mad King father-in-law, Saul. 

Most in-law relationships can be difficult, but Saul has been attempting to impale his son-in-law and actual son with spears on a pretty regular basis. 

David finally realized that the whole attempted murder thing was not just a awkward phase for Saul, so he ran away with the help of his brother-in-law/totally platonic BFF, Jonathan. 



Chapter 21:

David runs away and hides at Ahmilek's house. Ahmilek is a priest and usually helps David talk to God and stuff, though now he is suspicious of the situation because David is alone.

David's excuse is that he's on a secret mission. He can't talk about it because it is . . . a secret. He explains that his men are going to meet up with him later and that he needs food for them. Ahmilek does not have normal food. He's too busy talking to God to buy groceries for emergency secret missions:

"I don't have any ordinary bread on hand; however, there is some consecrated bread here-provided the men have kept themselves from women."

Only virgins get carbs?

It is unclear what amount of quarantine time is needed to shed oneself of girl cooties but David is quick to reassure/lie to Ahmilek:

"Indeed women have been kept from us, as usual whenever I set out. The men's bodies are holy even on missions that are not holy. How much more so today!"

David proudly explains that his men can't even get laid when they're allowed to, and so they deserve some bread. 

Ahmilek goes to get the sad virgins some bread and then there is an ominous sentence:

"Now one of Saul's servants was there that day, detained before the Lord; he was Doeg the Edomite, Saul's chief shepherd."



Nothing further is mentioned about this. YET.

David asks Ahmilek if he has any weapons laying around, and guess what happens to just be laying around?

"'The sword of Goliath the Philistine, whom you killed in the Valley of Elah, is here'"

Oh, is that all?

Also, I know David has murdered a lot since then, but did Ahmilek seriously have to remind David who Goliath is?

"You remember that guy you killed? Yeah the big, confident one? In the valley?"

David accepts the sword of his slain enemy, and this is finally feeling like the the fantasy book we deserve. 

David's next destination is to see Achish king of Gath who is a Philistine and therefore an enemy of the Israelites. Therefore, DAVID's enemy. 




No character motivations are explained in the slightest. Achish immediately recognizes David because...David made no effort to disguise himself. 

David suddenly realizes that maybe this isn't a great plan or a plan at all. David's next great plan?:

"he pretended to be insane in their presence; and while he was in their hands he acted like a madman, making marks on the doors of the gate and letting saliva run down his beard"

David and Jonathan have similar planning skills. I ship them but I am concerned if they ever did get together officially, they would die very easily. 

Still, David's "plan" works. King Achish makes it clear that he doesn't have time for crazy and quickly shoots up to being my favorite character in this book. He brings in so much sass that I don't even need a reaction gif:

"'Look at the man! He is insane! Why bring him to me? Am I so short of madmen that you have to bring this fellow here to carry on like this in front of me? Must this man come into my house?'"

Chapter 22:

David's next move is to run away to a cave. His family hears about it and joins him in the cave. Also about 400 strangers join him in the cave. The strangers are people who are in distress, debt or discontentment, the three dreaded D's.   

Thinking Corner with MJ:

1. If 400 people found out about David living in a cave, it's not that great of a hiding spot is it?
2. Is David just posting for cave roommates on craigslist?
3.That's a big cave.
4. Their lives were so bad, they chose to live in a cave.
5. Anyone else in student loan debt want to join me in cave life?








David leaves the cave to go ask the king of Moab if he will take his mother and father in and protect them. David is fine living with 400 people in a cave, but living with his parents in that cave was really cramping his style. 

Then, David hides in a stronghold. Then, a prophet named Gad (who was clearly made a prophet just because his name was so similar) tells David to stop hiding and go to Judah. 

So many places. 

This section of the book is giving me Kerouac On the Road vibes. I did not like On the Road. If I've offended anyone who does love that book, I recommend writing a incomprehensible book length fever dream poem about your feelings, that I will never read. 

Meanwhile, back at the Mad King's lair, Saul is lecturing his men for not telling him that Jonathan was helping David. The lecturing goes on for some time, until that ominous sentence from the last chapter finally becomes relevant. 

"But Doeg the Edomite, who was standing with Saul's officials, said, 'I saw the son of Jesse come to Ahimelek'"


Mostly, I'm just shocked that the sentence ended up having a point. 

Saul sends for Ahimelek and all the men in his family and begins the interrogation with light, easy questions:


"'Why have you conspired against me?'"

 Ahimelek explains himself with logic because he doesn't know what he's dealing with:

"'Who of all your servants is as loyal as David, the king's son-in-law, captain of your bodyguard and highly respected in your household? Was that day the first time I inquired of God for him? Of course not! Let not the king accuse your servant or any of his father's family, for your servant knows nothing about this whole affair.'"

Saul: "'You will surely die, Ahimelek, you and your whole family.'"



Saul demands that his men kill Ahimelek and the men in his family, all of the priests, because they were, in his cray mind, conspiring against him. 

The men refuse to kill the priests because maybe these ones actually remember that Crazy Saul has got nothing on Crazy God. 

Saul suddenly remembers his emergency training. When you want help, you have to be specific. He tells Doeg the Edomite, to kill the priests. Doeg kills all 85 of them and yes, I am now picturing Doeg as The Mountain from Game of Thrones. Yes, I still make Game of Thrones references. 


You can't not picture it. 
Doeg really likes extra murder credit, so he takes it upon himself to go to Ahimelek's town and kill every man, woman, child, infant, cow, donkey and sheep there, too. 



One man escapes the murderdome and finds David to tell him what happened. David's response is barely remorseful:

"'I knew he would be sure to tell Saul. I am responsible for the death of your whole family. Stay with me; don't be afraid. The man wants to kill you is trying to kill me too. You will be safe with me.'"

Yeah, my bad. I'm the reason everything you love is dead, but do you want to hang out? They're trying to kill me too, so you'll be totally safe with me. Yes, safe with me, the target that brought wrath upon everything you loved in the first place. Have you not moved on yet?



Monday, May 21, 2018

Samuel 20

Greetings, people who read this blog and still lack a collective nickname, because the amount is so few I could probably just call you by your names individually: Grant, Katie, Josh, Lisa, sometimes Cara, Cara's mom...I think...I think that covers it. 

You're probably all blown away by my recent level of consistency. I'm pretty surprised myself. Though, like the plot and drama this book is finally giving us, we shouldn't depend on my attention span for too long. 

The following chapter is about the beautiful, forbidden, yet still totally platonic friendship, between David and Prince Jonathan. 

(Side note: I've been spelling Jonathan's name wrong. I'd apologize, but I think the authors should apologize for writing it that way in the first place.)



Chapter 20:

There's a big event coming up with the in-laws and David's not too sure about showing up because of his father-in-law's repeated attempted murders. Still, David doesn't want to seem rude, so he checks in with his brother-in-law/BFF, Jonathan, about the situation. 

Jonathan is shocked at the idea his father would want to kill David despite the fact that King Saul has literally told him before, that he would like to kill David. 

"'Never!' Jonathan replied. 'You are not going to die! Look, my father doesn't do anything, great or small, without letting me know. Why would he hide this from me? It isn't so!'"

Hey, remember that time King Saul was also going to kill his Jonathon, his own son, and only didn't because his soldiers stopped him? Jonathon clearly doesn't. 

David doesn't want to ruin Jonathon's perception of his father, so he doesn't mention the multiple attempts at murder. Their friendship is built on lies, but it is also very heartwarming. 

David asks politely, if maybe he can just go into hiding during the event and Jonathon can cover for him. If King Saul asks about where David is, Jonathan can tell him he went home to see his family. If Saul is chill, David will consider coming to the event. If Saul is not chill, Jonathon can send a warning to David. David even suggests that, if Jonathan agrees with his father, he is welcome to come kill David himself.  

Jonathan has already tattooed David's name on his body in the name of friendship so he is not about that. Jonathan makes it clear that he definitely wants custody of David in the event of a divorce. He insists they make an oath to honor their friendship in front of the Lord forever. Jonathan is much too extra for a simple friendship bracelet. 



Jonathan decides to make David's hideout plan needlessly complicated, because that's kind of his thing. 

He tells David to hide out by a stone and he will warn him about his father in code. The code will be performance art involving arrows and a young boy. 

"'I will shoot three arrows to the side of it, as though I were shooting at a target. Then I will send a boy and say, 'Go, find the arrows.' If I say to him, 'Look, the arrows are on this side of you; bring them here,' then come, because, as surely as the Lord lives, you are safe; there is no danger. But if I say to the boy, 'Look, the arrows are beyond you; then you must go, because the Lord has sent you away.'"

Or...just like...send a note?

The plan is set in motion. David hides and doesn't show up to the dinners. King Saul notices and thinks unnecessarily rude thoughts:

"'Something must have happened to David to make him ceremonially unclean-surely he is unclean.'"




Saul asks his son Jonathon about David's whereabouts. Jonathon tells him that David asked permission to go to a family BBQ. Saul does not take this well.

"Saul's anger flared up at Jonathon and he said to him, 'You son of a perverse and rebellious woman! Don't I know that you have sided with the son of Jesse to your own shame and to the shame of the mother who bore you? As long as the son of Jesse lives on this earth, neither you nor your kingdom will be established. Now send someone to bring him to me, for he must die!'"

He seems upset. 

We're going to gloss over the the fact that Saul's speech sounds a lot like Jonathan and David have a not platonic thing and Saul is an angry homophobic father. They're just friends. Okay? Grow up. 




Jonathan makes the mistake of trying to use logic. He asks why David should be put to death, considering that he has only ever done what Saul has asked with enthusiasm and loyalty. Saul is not a fan of logic. 

"Saul hurled his spear at him to kill him."

Thankfully, Saul is as bad at aiming as he is at logic. Jonathan survives and he is not happy. Though, he's not upset with the second attempted fillicide. His only concern is for David. 

"Then Jonathan knew that his father intended to kill David. Jonathan got up from the table in fierce anger; on that second day of the feast he did not eat, because he was grieved at his father's shameful treatment of David."

Jonathan punishes his father with a food strike and can only think about David. The next morning, he passes along his needlessly complicated arrow message to warn David, making a young boy run after arrows much like a dog. 

I know what you're thinking readers. 

"Why are you being so harsh to Jonathan? He has to communicate with David with secret performance art because he is committing treason against his own father. David has to stay hidden and Jonathan can't communicate with him directly."

I hear you. But here's the thing:

"After the boy had gone, David got up from the south side of the stone and bowed down before Jonathan three times." 




You see? You see what I'm talking about? These people...

After David bows to Jonathan, 

"they kissed each other and wept together-but David wept the most. Jonathan said to David, 'Go in peace, for we have a sworn friendship with each other in the name of the Lord, saying, 'The Lord is witness between you and me, and between your descendants and my descendants forever.'"




Monday, May 14, 2018

Samuel 18-19

Strap into the bible roller coaster of plot and character development. We probably won't get this spoiled again for at least 500 more pages. Soak in this sweet sweet drama while it lasts. 





Chapter 18: 

David continues to be King Saul's lyre player even after killing Goliath. I guess slaying giants doesn't warrant a promotion in King Saul's crazy af mind. 

King Saul also refuses to let David go home anymore, which is probably for the best because David sounds like a terrible sheephearder

Saul is becoming paranoid that David will take his place as king, but can you really call it paranoia if it's literally a prophecy?

King Saul's son, Jonathon, the most extra of the biblical characters, has taken a shine to David. I guess he's moved on from his armor bearer. What crazy twists and turns this will add to my slash fanfic:

"Jonathon made a covenant with David because he loved him as himself. Jonathon took off the robe he was wearing and gave it to David, along with his tunic, and even his sword, his bow and his belt."



King Saul is further paranoid that his son (who he once tried to murder) has taken a liking to this David. King Saul the Mad King's solution is to repeatedly send David on perilous missions, hoping that he'll eventually die on one of them. 

King Saul is that coward who doesn't know how to break up with his girlfriend, so instead of dealing with the conflict like an adult, he chooses to just act horribly, hoping she'll break up with him on her own. 

What? The analogy just popped in my head. It definitely isn't something I think about all the time. I'm not bitter. 

Not only does David not die on King Saul's many quests, he becomes a war hero. Women dance in the street holding parades for him when he returns:

"'Saul has slain his thousands,
and David has his tens of thousands.'"

Not all that catchy ladies, but it effectively hurts King Saul's already fragile ego:

"'They have credit David with tens of thousands,' he thought, 'but me with only thousands.'"

Solid math problem solving Saul. You figured it out all on your own. 

King Saul is very hurt that people do not appreciate his own mass murdering abilities and thinks that they will inevitably choose David for king because he has more blood on his hands, the necessary political background for this book. 

King Saul decides to keep a close eye on David. He is of course very subtle:

". . . while David was playing the lyre, as he usually did. Saul had a spear in his hand and hurled it, saying to himself, 'I'll pin David to the wall.' But David eluded him twice."




After the minor disagreement with his boss, David agrees to be sent away for more perilous missions. Saul thinks this will lead to David's death. It does not. David continues to be a war hero. David is the roadrunner to Saul's coyote. 

Saul's next grand plan is to offer his eldest daughter Merab to David, which really isn't a nice gesture because David was supposed to win a daughter for killing Goliath anyway. Let's gloss over my general irritation that women are traded around like playing cards in this book. David is already owed a wife. 

Saul says David can have the wife, if he goes on yet another life threatening mission. David agrees because it is preferable to playing music for a man who thinks you are his target for human darts. 

While David is away, Saul marries off Merab, the promised eldest daughter, to someone else.

We're all thinking it, so I'm just going to say it, Saul is kind of a petty bitch. 

When David returns, Saul offers another daughter, Michal, who is actually in love with David. For some reason...Saul thinks this is the mother of all schemes:

"'I will give her to him,' he thought, 'so that she may be a snare to him and so that the hand of the Philistines may be against him.'"

Let's review. Saul's new master plan...is to marry off another daughter, thereby making the man he's worried about replacing him as king, his legal son-in-law. He thinks his daughter, who is actually in love with David, who David has shown no particular interest in before, will somehow be David's downfall? 



David is skeptical. He doesn't really want to be the son-in-law of a man continually trying to shish kabob him, which is fair. 

Saul's next move in this thrilling, cat and mouse game of wits, is to tell his soldiers to lie to David. They tell David that in spite of all the attempted murder and lies, Saul actually really likes David and would love him as a son-in-law. 

David believes this, which makes me think that maybe he doesn't actually deserve to live. 

The perilous mission David must take on this time?:

"'The king wants no other price for the bride than a hundred Philistine foreskins.'"

David rises to the challenge and those Philistines will rise no more. David doubles the amount of necessary foreskins because he's all about that extra credit:

"David took his men with him and went out and killed two hundred Philistines and brought back their foreskins. They counted out the full number to the king so that David might become the king's son-in-law."

This...book...I just...



After King Saul does whatever he does with his enemy's foreskins, David marries Michal, but we all know it really should have been Jonathon. 

Side note: King Saul keeps asking people who love David to help him. With this approach, he's grasping at foreskins. If I were King Saul, I would have turned David's older brother, Eliab against him. Eliab hated David for being conceited and thought his heart was wicked. Also, the revenge would be even better since all of Saul's family loves David, you can turn his own brother against him. Eye for and eye, know what I'm saying? I'm no mass murderer, but I do know how to Littlefinger people from a distance. so they cause their own demise...I mean this only hypothetically of course...




Chapter 19:

Sweet baby Jonathon learns his daddy is trying to kill his best friend. He tells David not to worry, he's going to give his dad a stern talking to and clear all this up. Jonathon attempts to reason with his insane father with logic about how David has done nothing wrong, and has actually only ever continually helped Saul, again and again. 

I would make insert some Ivanka Trump analogy about children supposedly having the ability to reason with their crazy political leader parents here, but that would imply she has logic. Also, she has no place in my beautiful fanfiction and cannot compare to the beauty that is Jonathon. 




King Saul reassures his son that he definitely, cross-his-heart, won't try to murder his son-in-law anymore. 

Yeah...so immediately after Saul tries to kill David again...with a spear...again. 



David goes into hiding at home with Michal. Saul sends men to watch their home. Michal, the daughter who made it clear she was in love with David, who Saul thought would ensnare David, immediately warns her husband about her father's intentions and tells him to run away. 

Who could have possibly seen that coming?



The apple does not fall far from the tree when it comes to planning skills. Michal's ingenious plan is to put an idol under their bed along with...goat hair, and tells Saul's men that her husband is sick. Michal, children from every movie ever called and they want their idea back, except for the goat hair. You can keep the goat hair. 

Shockingly, this plan does not pan out. They take Michal to her father and when asked why she let David escape, she implies her husband threatened her life. Look, she loves him, but that doesn't mean she has to die for him, okay? If Rose can't move over a few inches on that very sizable door to save Jack, Michal can lie to save her own skin. Love is complicated. 

David goes into hiding with good old Samuel who like a robber or a cop, is supposed to have that one last job, but just keeps getting sucked back in. He's too old for this. 

Saul sends his men after them, but never fear audience, the literal Deus Ex Machina comes to save the day. It gets weird. 

God makes all of Saul's men fall in to a fit of prophesying which I thought was just talking to God, but now appears to be much like a bad drug trip. 

". . . he sent men to capture  him. But when they saw a group of prophets prophesying, with Samuel standing there as their leader, the Spirit of God came on Saul's men, and they also prophesied. Saul was told about it, and he sent more men, and they prophesied too. Saul sent men a third time, and they also prophesied."

Finally, Saul goes after David and Samuel himself only to catch the prophecy plague too. 

". . . he stripped off his garments, and he too prophesied in Samuel's presence. He lay naked all that day and all that night."

No mention of anyone else getting naked and laying around naked. That's all Saul. I guess it's better...not...to call Saul. 



Sorry not sorry. 

Wednesday, May 9, 2018

Samuel 16-17

This book is finally starting to understand plot and drama. For now. Let's enjoy it while it lasts by taking a shot every time something dramatic happens.

Chapter 16:


God is ready to get his groove back with a new king, and has no patience for Samuel still shipping him and King Saul:


"How long will you mourn for Saul, since I have rejected him as king over Israel? Fill your horn with oil and be on your way."




God tells Samuel that he is going to find a new king, one of Jesse's sons. The name Jesse does not really seem very medieval and feels out of place in this book, and now I just have the song "Jessie's Girl" stuck in my head.

Samuel is concerned with Saul. If Saul finds out Samuel's helping God look for a new king, Saul might get murdery. Where's all that brave Maggie Smith energy you were serving earlier Samuel?


God provides Samuel with an alibi. Samuel will take a heifer to Jesse's as a sacrifice to the Lord or you know...just have a BBQ.


Samuel goes to Bethlehem to meet with Jesse and his family. Jesse is worried he's in trouble. People are always after his ...girl...amiright?


I'm so sorry.




Anyway, Samuel reassures Jesse that he's not in trouble, that he's just there to choose one of his sons to be king anointed by God or whatever. No biggie.

Jesse does not ask any further questions and immediately presents his finest sons to the strange old man. Samuel rejects them all and Jesse is confused.


Samuel says: "The Lord does not look at the things people look at. People look at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart."




God cares about what's on the inside. The fact that King Saul was super hot was only a coincidence

There is still one more son to see. The youngest. The sheephearder, David. Lord said he only cares about the heart but coincidentally this future king, is also hot:


"He was glowing with health and had a fine appearance and handsome features."




The Lord tells Samuel that David is the one. Samuel gets the olive oil and the spirit of the Lord comes powerfully on David. What? It's in the book. It's in there. Don't shoot the messenger. 

Since the spirit of the Lord is with David now, it has left Saul. The spirit of the Lord is monogamous. Instead, Saul is left with an evil spirit of the Lord that torments him. You do not want to be one of Lord's exes. 


Saul's servants suggest that music might help keep the evil spirits away. They suggest finding a lyre player. Clearly, a fiddle would be better at besting evil spirits. 




It just so happens, David the new future king, is a lyre player. King Saul's servant tells him all about David.

 "'I have seen a son of Jesse of Bethlehem who knows how to play the lyre. He is a brave man and a warrior. He speaks well and is a fine-looking man. And the Lord is with him.'"


I'm not really sure why you need to be a warrior to be a good lyre player, but Saul is sold on David and sends for him. That's right you guys, the boy who will replace him as king is going to be his personal musician. 




Every time David plays music, the evil spirit leaves Saul. Saul likes David so much, that he makes him his armor bearer. The logical promotion for a musician. 

Chapter 17:


Remember the Philistines? Yeah, they're still around. Like Team Rocket. This time they've got a giant named Goliath who might be 9 feet tall or just like 6 feet tall. We're not given a lot of details. He's just like a tall, strong guy and he's got a lot of confidence so that can be scary. 


Goliath challenges the Israelites. The Israelites want to gather forces and fight him off but he challenges their masculinity and stuff:


"'Why do you come out and line up for battle? Am I not a Philistine, and are you not the servants of Saul? Choose a man and have him come down to me. If he is able to fight and kill me, we will become your subjects; but if I overcome him and kill him, you will become our subjects and serve us.'" 


Goliath says that even though he's a big confident guy, it'd be pretty pathetic if they all needed to gang up on him. They need to choose one warrior to defeat him and if he wins (which he probably will), they will become Philistine slaves. He says this with a lot of confidence so they have no choice but to listen to his demands. Goliath keeps coming up to challenge them for 40 days and 40 nights. 

Meanwhile at the Jesse household, the three oldest sons are in King Saul's army and David goes back and forth sheephearding and playing music for the Mad King. Jesse asks David to bring the oldest sons some food and come back to reassure Jesse that they are okay. David the boy wonder goes to his brothers. Just as he gets there, he overhears Goliath's challenge. Everyone is afraid and runs away but David is not afraid. 




A random bystander gives all the exposition necessary very conveniently for David:

"'Do you see how this man keeps coming out? He comes out to defy Israel. The king will give great wealth to the man who kills him. He will also give him his daughter in marriage and will exempt his family from taxes in Israel.'"


Thank you for that information no one asked for, random stranger. 


David is a bit slow on the uptake:


"'What will be done for the man who kills this Philistine and removes this disgrace from Israel?'"


Literally what he just said David. What. He. Just. said. 


God likes his kings dumb. 


When David's oldest brother Eliab hears David's dumb question, he gets angry but not because David's question is dumb, "'Why have you come down here? And with whom did you leave those few sheep in the wilderness? I know how conceited your are and how wicked your heart is; you came down only to watch the battle.'"


Wow get a load of that sibling rivalry. The angst. 





Eliab makes a good point. Does David just leave the sheep alone? Come on David. 


David replies in typical youngest sibling fashion: "'Now what have I done?' Said David 'Can't I even speak?'" 


David goes to Mad King Saul: "'Let no one lose heart on account of this Philistine; your servant will go and fight him.'"



Saul is confused as to why the part time sheephearding musician thinks he can fight a giant (or just a really tall confident guy). 

David reassures him with Samson levels of crazy: 


"'Your servant has been keeping his father's sheep. When a lion or a bear came and carried off a sheep from the flock, I went after it, struck it and rescued the sheep from its mouth. When it turned on me, I seized it by its hair, struck it and killed it. Your servant has killed both the lion and the bear; this uncircumcised Philistine will be like one of them, because he has defied the armies of the living God. The Lord who rescued me from the paw of the lion and the paw of the bear will rescue me from the hand of this Philistine.'"




TLDR? David is not a very responsible sheephearder. He keeps letting his sheep get taken by large predators so he can then prove how tough he is by fighting and killing the predators with his bare hands. Eliab may have been right about his youngest brother's negligent sheephearding. 

Saul is sold because crazy likes crazy. 


It's time for the David Vs. Goliath showdown. 


They give David armor to wear but he's not into it. 


"'I cannot go in these,' he said to Saul, 'because I am not used to them.'"


Yeah, why try new things? Even if your life depends on it? 


David decides to take only his staff, 5 smooth stones, and a sling. The Bart Simpson weapon. 


David goes out to face Goliath and Goliath is displeased:


"He looked David over and saw that he was little more than a boy, glowing with health and handsome, and he despised him. He said to David, 'Am I a dog, that you come at me with sticks?'" . . . "'I'll give your flesh to the birds and the wild animals!'"


David replies that Goliath has all the weapons, but David just needs the Lord, which sounds very Kumbaya, until David says he will also cut off his head and feed his body to the birds and wild animals. 


Goliath moves to attack David, but our little sociopath runs up to meet him, takes a stone and slings it at Goliath. The stone strikes his forehead and he falls to the ground. That...that's it. 



David runs over to Goliath, takes his own sword, and cuts off his head. Finally, a political leader who sticks to his promises. 

The Philistines all run away in fear much like Team Rocket and the Israelites chase after them and plunder their camps. 


David takes Goliath's head to Saul but look out for that soap opera twist. King Saul the Mad King suddenly does not recognize David. 


"'Whose son are you, young man?' Saul asked him."