Chapter 13-14 Skin Diseases:
There's a whole lot of discussion about what to do if you should notice a weird mark or swelling on your skin. I am very grateful not to be one of the COI. Just last week, I went the doctor for eczema and if she had been one of the priests in this book, I would have been quarantined for a week, then I would have been exiled, made to wear torn clothing, and shout "unclean." Even if my eczema got better on its own, they'd make me shave my head and body, while sprinkling bird blood all over me until I was "pure" again. Thankfully, she only prescribed steroid cream.
Chapter 15 Male Genital "Emissions":
Sperm is gross. If you ever unleash your sinful juices upon anything that isn't a monogomous fertile egg, that thing and yourself remain unclean for 8 days.
You'll have to kill some turtle doves and pigeons to make up for your uncleanliness EVERY SINGLE TIME you have an "emission." If the men actually followed through on that, turtle doves and pigeons would have become extinct several times over.
Chapter 16 Lady Stuff is Still Really Gross:
Menstruating women are gross. Keep them away from everything. Don't even look at them. Also, every time a woman menstruates, she has to kill some turtle doves and pigeons to make up for the natural thing that happens to her every month. Should have tried harder to get a Y chromosome I guess.
 |
| Who let her out of quarantine? |
Chapter 17 Boring Reconciliation Ritual Stuff:
Aaron, Moses's brother, has to purify the Tabernacle with some ritual animal killing stuff i.e. he has to clean up the crime scene of his sons' murders with more blood.
Chapter 18 Don't Have Sex with your Relatives, Seriously, None of Them:
I'm just going to quote this for you:
"No on is allowed to approach any blood relative for sexual contact: I am the LORD. You must not uncover your father's nakedness, which is your mother's nakedness. She is your mother; you must not have sexual contact with her. You must not uncover the nakedness of your father's wife; it is your father's nakedness."
You heard him. Don't have sex with your mother or your father's wife. Those are two different people in this scenario. Hurray bigamy.
"You must not have sexual contact with your sister-regardless of whether she is your father's daughter or your mother's daughter, whether born into the same household as you or outside it."
 |
| God: "Seriously, how many different fucking ways do I need to phrase this for you?" |
"You must not have sexual contact with your son's daughter or your daughter's daughter, because their nakedness is your own nakedness. You must not have sexual contact with the daughter of your father's wife, who was born into your father's family, she is your sister. You must not have sexual contact with your father's sister; she is your father's blood relative. You must not have sexual contact with your mother's sister because she is your mother's blood relative. You will not uncover the nakedness of your father's brother-that is, you will not approach his wife for sex; she is your aunt. You must not have sexual contact with your daughter-in-law; she is your son's wife. You must not have sexual contact with her. You will not uncover the nakedness of your brother's wife; it is your brother's nakedness. You must not have sexual contact with a woman and her daughter. You will not marry her son's daughter or her daughter's daughter thereby uncovering her nakedness. They are her blood relatives; it is shameful."
Some thoughts: Remember how there was this big rule about not marrying folks outside your tribe? It's kind of a big deal to them...yet you can't have sex with any relatives or the relatives of anyone you've had sex with before. How are they managing that? And how are they managing that with men clearly participating in bigamy? They are going to run out of non relative Israelites.
"You will not have sexual relations with any animal, becoming unclean by it."
I'm just really concerned that the people of the COI had to be told this...
"You must not have sexual intercourse with a man as you would with a woman."
Well, duh, I mean a man can't have sex with another man in the EXACT SAME WAY he would with a woman. They'll of course have anal or oral sex.
No comments:
Post a Comment