Genesis Chapter 13 and 14

And we're back to the adventures of Abram and his gang. Last time he entrapped  a pharaoh causing unnecessary plaguing. Let's see what kind of hi jinx Abram gets into next!
______________________________________________

Chapter 13: Abram, his wife (whose name no longer gets mentioned because who cares?) and Lot leave Egypt and head south.

Abram is still rolling in all his goods from the pharaoh: the silver, the cattle, the she asses, etc. which strikes me as very generous of the pharaoh yet again. I really feel like that guy got a bad deal.

Abram builds more altars because that's the only hobby he has.

Whew, I think we need a bear break from all this excitement. 

Lot has a lot of people of his own which tells me he isn't a kid which is difficult to know because there are no character descriptions and I'm not even sure when you become an adult in the bible because most of them don't start on their adventures until they're about 70 years old it seems.

Abram's and Lot's people are starting to have roommate trouble. There isn't enough space, cattle get mixed up, Lot's people keep using Abram's people's shampoo.

Abram resolves the conflict by suggesting they part ways and Lot can pick whichever part of the land he wants.

Those aren't rainbow caves on the right, it's fire. Just to be clear.

Lot goes for Sodom which would be logical if he wasn't being used to make some sort of moral point about how you shouldn't choose the prettier path or whatever. Abram takes the leftovers in Canaan.

Of course there's a catch. Lot should have known that picking the obviously prettier area would be trouble because Sodom and Gomorrah ends up being Sinnersville and we all know how Lord God deals with places filled with sinners and the bystanders that happen to be in those places.

__________________________________

Chapter 14: 

There's a description of the War of Kings which isn't terribly exciting because there are absolutely no dragons involved.

King Sodom and Gomorrah are involved in the War of Kings. There are lots of names and places listed and the chapter is almost as interesting as begatting chapters.

Lot and his people get caught up in the conflict in Sodom and get kidnapped. When word gets back to Abram, he bravely sends his slaves to go die for his cause.

Abram wins and brings back "all the goods, and also brought again his brother Lot, and his goods, and the women also" notice how things are prioritized in that sentence?

Also why is Lot described to be his brother now? I thought he was his nephew? Is this a different Lot? Are the authors losing track of all their faceless undescribed characters?

The kings of Sodom and Salem meet up with Abram. The king of Salem brings wine and bread to the potluck and blesses Abram and Abram's God friend.

The King of Salem goes on and on about how impressed he is with Abram's ability to win wars and how much he like's Abram's awesome God friend. He even blesses them.

Flattery works on Abram and his God friend so he gives the King of Salem "tithes of all." I looked up the word tithes for you. It means a tenth. Abram's a good man to suck up to.

Sodom offers to let Abram have all the goods in exchange for all the prisoners. Abram says no thanks, he won't take anything that belongs to the king. Abram just takes the people that already belonged to him, not to the king or to themselves, and some snacks for the road.